What's in my make up bag?

As a Christmas present to myself I bought this "Zoella Lace Collar Purse" from Superdrug for £6.00, I picked this one up as I know everyone has the guinea pig ones and the eye ones. I also have a top that looks exactly like this and the bag is just the right size for the (little) amount of make up I own.

Inside my bag you will find my four essential items: firstly the Barry M Bold Waterproof Eyeliner for  £3.99. The first time I picked this up I was in a hurry to find a cheap eye liner, and little did I know what I had stumbled upon. The most amazing waterproof eyeliner I have ever owned! I didnBa't realise it was waterproof, but it really does what it says on the tin, this bad boy has survived 12hr days, and full on crying sessions! I am so impressed with this product, my only beef is that you can't sharpen it, so once it goes blunt you have to buy a new one.

Next on the right I have Collection Lengthening Mascara Black 1 for £2.99, I don't really have very many eyelashes and they aren't long and they are more defined from my profile, which is useless. Pretty much any mascara works with my lashes, but I do have a soft spot for any Collection mascara as they don't charge an arm and a leg for decent mascara.

Bottom on the left we have Barry M Lip Boss 3- Office Romance for £4.49 I previously had Barry M lipgloss which I loved but I have misplaced [insert sad emoji] so I went straight over to Barry M. I prefer light pink lip glosses, I don't know why I just prefer my lips to look slightly more pink and glossy. The container is a decent size and it lasts forever for me.

I have previously mentioned in another post how much I love my final product. It's only Collection Eye Definer Ebony 1 for the small price of £2.99 it's a total steal, I can be using the same one for up to three months depending on my variation of use and how big I make the wings on my eyes. I don't get along with any other eyeliner, I've tried felt tip liners and Collection must've known I was cheating as I could not get the same effect I wanted with the felt pens. Look out for a tutorial in the near future on how I do my eyeliner, it took me a few months and hundreds of tutorials to get it right! Eyeliner is the only make up related thing I am actually good at!

Now you've seen what's in my make up bag!

All products are from Superdrug and prices were correct as of 30th December 2015.

Saffron x

Post Christmas Haul

Hello!

For Christmas I received far too many gift cards from my loved ones, and after noticing that I had around £75 worth of New Look gift cards, I thought I would face the Christmas/New Year sales.

I also wanted to go to Top Shop as I have a number of jumpers and shirts on my wish list that I really love.

Top Shop

                              Jumper- £26

I'm a huge lover of jumpers, and I got this in the next size up for extra bagginess (and incase of shrinkage) I love the sectioning of black to white, I also like Top Shop's jumper with the addition of orange in a similar style. As I don't own anything orange, I liked the idea of incorporating it in with my wardrobe.

New Look

PJ Top- £3.00

PJ Bottoms- £7.00

Socks- Three for £4

Sports Bra- £9.99

Black Leggings- £14.99

I'm a regular at all the New Look stores in my area, I love the discount I can get as a student, and the limited 25% off you can sometimes get. I also love the socks and the multi buy deal, as I always need new socks, and especially pug ones. There wasn't too much left in the sale for my taste and size, but I managed to bag a cute new PJ set! The checked bottoms are super soft and fluffy, and the top isn't supposed to go with the bottoms (as the writing is pink and the bottoms are a blue check) but they are pyjamas and I opt for comfort these days with my jammas.

I bought a new sports bra to hopefully nudge me to go running, as that's one of my promises to myself in the New Year! And I'm forever losing my clothes at the minute, so I now own three pairs of the same black leggings with silver zips on the sides, but they last and they are so comfy!

Side Note: I got these cheaper through using my NUS Extra card, if you are a student I would 100% recommend as some stores only accept NUS and not your college/university card, depending on the store you can get around 10%.

In total I saved £10.99 which is not including the sale prices!

Saffron x

Why blog?

Hello everyone!

As I have just picked up the blogging baton again, I thought it might interest some of you as to why I am blogging. Why now? Well I used to blog a lot when I was younger, when I was in secondary school. That was mostly cringey rants, movie or book reviews, nothing special.

Last year I noticed one of my best friends started blogging, so I looked at my blogs....and decided I better start a new one as my old one's (as previously mentioned) where uber cringe worthy.

I know I'm not a beautician, hair dresser, stylist, fashion designer, baker, cook or skilled in any particular way. However, I thought I had an advantage point, I know pretty much nothing about any of the before mentioned topics (I know somethings, but not much) and I found my angle:

"NORMAL IMPERFECT GIRL ATTEMPTS MAKE-UP, BAKING ETC"

One thing I do know is, that I am imperfect, I have blemishes like everyone else, I have scars and stretch marks, my teeth aren't straight and my eye's change colour in different light. One thing I have always dreamed of being is a role model for younger girls who might be too afraid to talk to their female relations. I've never had my eye brows waxed/threaded, I've only plucked them, and badly because I had no idea what shape my eye brow was meant to be and plucked too much and now they aren't thick enough -_-.

My point being is that being an in-experienced twenty year old I can try things for the first time and write/film it for others entertainment and maybe one day make a difference to some one's life. I know I'm not going to become the next "Zoella" but blogging also helps me, I don't get as stressed and ragey, and I'm not having anxiety attacks as much. 

Today is the first day I realised how much better I actually feel, despite my usual sleepiness, I feel quite refreshed. Blogging fills up time that I used to freak out about random things, and let the anxiety take over.

So as much as it'd be nice to become a famous blogger, I am quite happy with who I am, I'm feeling relatively happy for one of the first times this year! It excites me when I think of things I want to write about, I'm even going to buy a pretty notebook to put my ideas in. Plus it will make me do things I've only dreamt of doing, I'm going to try out more make up, and flex my (lack of) baking and cooking skills.

Saffron x

Christmas Nail Varnish

Happy Boxing Day! 

Hope you all had a lovely Christmas with your family and friends, this post is post-christmas but can be used any time of the year too!

Whilst I was supposed to be shopping for my family and friends, but also to re-stock my eyeliner. I got swayed by Superdrug's offer no Barry M products. If I spent £6 or more on their brand I would get a bottle of Barry M's Gelly Hi Shine Nail Paint in Sparkling Ruby. When I saw it on the model above the products, I knew that I needed to own it.

I'm usually spotted wearing red nail varnish as it's one of my favourite colours, and this red has glitter aspects in it which made it my Christmas nail colour!

When I needed to take off the remainder of the nail varnish to re-apply for Christmas Day, I realised that it was going to be harder to shift because of the glitter in it. I learned the hard way to soak my nails previous to removing the varnish!

Barry M is one of my favourite nail brands alongside Rimmel, I find that they last longer and the colour selections suit all my nail needs!

Excuse my awesome christmas onesie! So far I've been really impressed with this varnish as it's lasted quite a while without chipping, as I use my hands a lot in my place of work and everyday life! If I could sustain growing my nails this paint would look even better for those of you with proper lady claws!

Saffron x

Winter Wonderland 2015

Hello everyone, 

I hope you're all recovering from Christmas and getting ready for the New Year!

I had wanted to go to Hyde Park's Winter Wonderland for years, and this year I managed to bully my boyfriend into going with me yippee!

As we are two students we went up to London Victoria on the National Express, for a return for both of us it cost £25 in total compared to the possible double sum to get the train. It took longer, and was slightly uncomfortable when trying to sleep, but for the money is was worth it!

Enjoy some of our snaps below:

Images courtesy of my lovely boyfriend; Connor Cleary, for once he was able to take nice photos of me!

The two attractions that we paid for were The Magical Ice Kingdom and Ice Skating, the time slot I chose for the latter was five in the evening, as I saw from the images that they have lots of fairy lights above the rink, and I thought it would be romantic. And as per I was correct! Even though my feet were blistering and my arm was hurting from holding my boyfriend up as he is not an avid ice skater.

I wouldn't have changed anything about the day, it was worth our money and it was a lovely day out with wonderful new memories. I completely recommend anyone going to Winter Wonderland, we nearly got lost in all of the cute little markets to get souvenirs or christmas presents.

As a side note I was very nervous about the day out, as it'd been a while since I'd been out for a whole day. With my anxiety I don't really like being out of the house much as my home is my comfort and sanctuary. I always worry what time I'll be back and if i'm going to have an attack or get ill, I had only one moment in Winter Wonderland. We were on our way from Oxford Street to Hyde Park and I was anxious about being late for ice skating as I didn't want to miss our slot that we had paid for! On the way I really needed to pee and there was a queue, and I was getting really close to having an anxiety attack in the middle of Winter Wonderland. 

But why? You may ask, I was having a lovely day with my boyfriend doing something I'd always wanted to do. So why was I getting so anxious? There's no reasonable explanation for it, I try to reason with it but I can't think of anything that explains why I would be so anxious in this situation. All I can do is try my breathing exercises, where I just breath in really deep and out over and over again until I feel better. The only issue is I can't tell anyone around me what's happening as it will get worse, I just power through with breathing whilst speed walking through Winter Wonderland so I can get my ice skates.

Fortunately that was my only moment, I think half the time I don't get as many as I used to because I find it so irritating I refuse to go to that place where I'm not in control.

Saffron x

Just Breathe

Merry Christmas everyone!

I have a present for you all, a little bit of insight!

Some where in the middle of July something happened to me. To which I have no clue, nothing traumatic happened, there's no explanation. I didn't realised until a couple of months later what I had. What I still have. I was feeling ill all the time, I wasn't going to work, and would often not call in sick as I hate making phone calls. Then I dodged calls from my work place as I had no idea what to tell them.

I was ill at least three or four times a week, having to live on shop bought medication so that I could try and get on with my life. I was constantly ill when I went on holiday to Turkey with my friends, I thought maybe I had caught a bug or something. I knew I was just overthinking things, and making myself ill so I tried to chill myself out, by sun bathing, swimming in the pool, and having cocktails with my friends. I started avoiding certain foods for fear that was what was making me ill.

But food doesn't make your heart beat out of your chest, and disrupt your breathing. I came to the realisation that I have anxiety. I was in denial and was hoping it was something more medical that doctors could sort out, but this is something within me. 

It's been about five months living with this. Almost everyday I have to take myself physically out of what I'm doing, going for a walk, getting fresh air. I get panicky about various things that are stressful; university work, going out with friends/family, going on holiday, days out where I won't be back home for a whole day. The were all things I enjoyed-maybe not the university work. I don't understand why these things now bother me and make me so ill and anxious? I have to partake in breathing exercises to calm myself down.

I never knew much about anxiety before, I usually only had temporary anxiety for a job interview, first day at school/college/university, or exams. But I have unexplained anxiety attacks, I can be sat in the comfort of my room watching Netflix, and I'll suddenly have to pause and breathe in and out deep breaths.

I just wanted to let anyone know who might be possibly reading this that you aren't alone, of course every always says that. But I felt alone when I didn't know what was wrong with me. Then I started opening up to my loved one's around me for some support and understanding. I actually found out that they understood and my friends and family are there for me now, not that I always tell everyone when I'm having an anxiety attack as it makes it worse to admit I'm in one to people around me. They ask me how I am, and check in on me, and I'm ever so grateful to have them in my life. I used to be closed off and wouldn't let anyone in and know my problems, but I enjoy being able to be open to people now.

In the new year I'm seeking further help with cognitive behavioural therapy, to hopefully try and find out what's at the root of this. As I've tried to put blame on various things, and help myself get out of this, but I'm too far into this now. I'm afraid of how long I will have to deal with this, how it will affect me next year; when I go on holiday, when I have deadlines at university and just waking up every day wondering when it's going to happen again.

Before I realised what I had, I found out that the YouTube vlogger "Zoella" has anxiety, and I think it's admirable for someone with so many fans and younger girls looking up to her that might have the same sort of issues, or even if they don't. That someone who's partially in the lime light still makes videos each week, can go to award ceremonies, and can have a book published that breaks selling records.

I'm obviously not in any sort of lime light and don't get invited to awards ceremonies, but I'm proud of myself for so far not dropping out of social engagements, I force myself to go. I'd rather go and not enjoy myself, than sit at home wondering how it was and looking at photo's of my friends having a good time. I go home earlier than usual now, I don't drink an awful lot, and I'm not my usual self on most days. I'm quieter now, I blend into the walls on most occasions, not that I was the centre of attention from the beginning. Anxiety has changed me, I prefer to stay in bed and watch Netflix than socialise, I love the days where I don't have to talk to anyone and I can just lie there and stop any anxiety attacks.

I know I haven't had this for very long, but it's taken over my life in more ways than I would've thought. I never had an opinion on anxiety before, as I've had panic attacks in my life but very rarely, so I guess I kind of understood anxiety a little bit.

I hope that next year will be a better year for me, and that there is a reason for the way I am, if there's no reason whatsoever this is a cruel world to go through this almost everyday. Overtime I open my laptop to do university work, every time I'm getting ready to go out to every time I even eat now.

I just wanted to reach out to others like myself, that are taken over by what they have. And to inform others of what it's like, as some people use anxiety as an excuse when really they are just being dramatic, the same with depression, some people just want attention. I hate having attention, I don't want this at all, if someone else wants it feel free to take it! 

I just want to be a normal twenty year old again.

Saffron x

Holiday Haul!

Today I went out and bought all the last minute necessities for my holiday to Turkey, very exciting stuff! I grabbed quite a few bargains, but it still amounted to a big hole in my bank account, however I wanted to be prepared as this is my first independent holiday with friends.

Superdrug

This was my first stop as I get all of my make up from here and it has fair prices!

Starting from the top left: VO5's Give Me Texture-Rough and Sexy Sea Salt Spray (£2.99) as I want that messy beach hair look with slight waves. Further left along the top of the image: Superdrug's own Detangling Brush (£3.99) as I plan to swim everyday and I have hair that is getting closer to my bum, it's bound to get tangled, as it does in everyday life anyway. Superdrug's Clear PVC Bag (£2.99) to carry my make up and bit and pieces on the plane, which only for the purpose of the image contains Superdrug's own 6 Mini Jaw Clips (£1.99) as I've got ideas for beach hair and want to keep it in place, with the help also of Superdrug's own 30 Hair Grips (£1.39)

Bottom left: I absolutely love Collections Eye Definition Liquid Eyeliner (2.99) it's a good price and lasts for months, I use it for the top of my eye lid all the way into a cat eye flick and it creates a beauty black colour that stays throughout the day and night for when you go out. I also bought Collections Super Size Mascara Fat Lash Mascara (£2.99) I first used this when I got it free in an offer and it creates the perfect size lashes for me and again, a fabulous price! $$ And I got Collections Kohl Eyeliner-Precision Colour 1 Black as I love to top off and close my look by adding the liner directly into my bottom eyelid-Which I have to re-do throughout the day but it's quick and easy so it's no bother really! 

Next I always lose items from my mini manicure sets, so I bought a whole new one for my holiday for £3.99 which has everything I will need! Plus they are a decent size so you can tuck it easily in your bag, but I'll have to put this in my suitcase because of the sharp objects! But once I'm off the plane I can tuck it into my beach bag! My next item is Renewing Argan Oil of Morocco; Extra Penetrating Oil for Dry and Course Hair (£4.66) I recently dip dyed my hair for the summer and for my trip to Turkey, and because the bleach has already made it quite dry and hay-like I needed something to prevent split ends, and the chlorine in the pool might damage it as well, so I need to take care of my hair out there! Now lastly, I bought myself some new disposable Gillete Venus Embrace Sensitive razors (£5.48) as I need to maintain smooth legs if I'm going to be getting them out everyday attempting to get a tan, this packet includes three razors which will last me the seven full days in Turkey. I also have Gillete Satin Care with a Touch of Olay which I brought before holiday shopping, I prefer to use shaving foam on my legs as I feel it prevents any shaving rashes for sensitive skin and with the use of a good razor can keep your legs smoother for longer, you can usually pick it up for around £1.50-£2 something, and again depending on how much you use it can last you a good couple of months! I'll post a picture below of what it looks like from google images:

Boots

My main intention for going into Boots was because I love their own body sprays and I wanted a whole new bottle for my trip!

Starting from the left again: Is Boots Extracts Fruity Strawberry Body Spray (£3.50) which is the same price as the far right; Boots Extracts Luscious Vanilla Body Spray, I use the vanilla in my everyday life, so I wanted a change for my holiday fragrance, plus it's  in their 3 for 2 offer, so I got both the sprays and the matching Luscious Vanilla Body Butter (£6.00) all for £9.50. Back to the left is Boots' Smile Travel Toothbrush (£1.69) which folds into itself where it can remain germ free! Then for the germified plane journeys I bought a cute mini Cuticura Anti Bacterial Hand Gel-Floral and Fruity (£1.00), next to that a tiny Arm and Hammer Advance White toothpaste (£1.25), this is my favourite toothpaste as I love the taste! And lastly, the three travel sized containers were £1.35 each. As everything I bought today was in the 3 for 2 offer this haul came to £13.79 saving me £7.20, now I cannot argue with that!

*Prices subject to change, but were correct as of 28th of August 2015

Getting Ready For Turkey!

Hello everyone!

It's been a while since my last post-which was supposed to spin off to regular posts...that did not happen. I've re-discovered my brain and my slight sense of creativity to start this again! Woohoo! The partial reason is my impending holiday to TURKEY with my school friends. As it's in two days time, yes TWO DAYS!! I tried on all of my outfits that I have purchased so far (just to make sure they fit and that I am comfortable) and I had the intention of posting some images of my holiday outfits, as I felt really good in all of my swimwear and day wear...but upon looking at the images afterwards they are not the most flattering :(

I wanted to show off my curves and that yes I do have a little chub but I haven't had the time nor willpower to exercise and/or diet this summer as I have been a busy little bee! I have many imperfections, as I named my blog after my flaws. I am on a mission to start accepting myself for who I am, and this post was supposed to be "hey guys look at how imperfect I look, but also how good I feel and how happy I am" however I was unhappy with the images (ironic) but I still wanted to tell you all how I'm doing.

Since my last post I have come a long way with accepting myself, I have accepted my body shape and I loooooove it! I love my curves and it makes me feel real, and fuller (?) All I am after now is a slightly smaller belly, because my food baby is always on show and it just looks horrendous! Just slightly toned, I'm not interested in having abs or anything, just a flatter looking stomach. I would also wish upon the Gods to make my tree chunk thighs thinner/more toned because they rub together like sandpaper whenever I wear tights, or have bare legs and it's really painful. I accept my muscles, and that I will not have super slim legs like the girls in the magazines that look great in a pair of jeans...just crying, don't mind me!

So, from accepting these imperfections it makes me slightly happier and I've stopped analysing myself so much, because I was born this way, and I'm not a lean mean muscle machine that runs on Duracell batteries! But what I want to show to everyone, is no matter what size and what imperfections you have you can look beautiful and happy, and I am going to take lots of photos in Turkey to show you how this self-conscious imperfect girl can actually walk around in public in a bikini and be happy about it!

Saffron x

Heat Magazine's "Insta-scam" Logic

I rarely ever pick up these magazines, as I get bored of 'celebrity' dramas, as I only concentrate on my own life, I don't even watch the news, but that's another story for a different day. As I saw this on the shelf I immediately was appalled by what was on the front cover (seen in the images above) I am an avid user of Instagram, so if anyone pulled a stunt like this, they would face my wrath!

Because of course people are going to look different in photos that they take, compared to photos that the paparazzi take (usually to make them look bad in the first place) especially if they have just eaten, which would cause any bloating, if there's different lighting? Oh and yes the fact that you can add filters to photos to try and enhance your look if you want to look more tanned or pale.

I was ashamed, as in this world I would think it plausible that we should encourage people to accept their flaws? The women in this magazine are some what celebrities, but if they have flaws too, I say encourage that! That would make the average women so happy to know that it's not just her, also most of the unflattering photos of women in these gossip mags are deliberately awful photos of which the subject isn't aware of said photo. I have seen many a unflattering photograph of me mid-speech or even just sitting minding my own business-and it is deleted straight away!

I am a recent supporter of being able to show your flaws, as it's just normal, I don't want to make the effort of hiding something that every other girl or woman has! I think it is nice to coat our images in photos or take them at different angles to improve your appearance, as you get a boost in your self confidence, but I will be soon showing the world for what I am. I have an impending holiday in Turkey this Summer and I don't want to think that people are judging me, I want people to be saying how much confidence I have in my own 'imperfect' skin.

I'm sick of bowing my head in embarrassment, it's time to hold it high!

Saffron x

Introduction

Hello World,

Any of my previous (small club) of followers, I have decided to take up blogging again. However this time I am taking up new topics; hair and make up reviews, news/magazine articles that rift views in society, and anything new I find or that I think is interesting.

Coming up soon is my everyday make up that I wear, criticizing Heat Magazines front cover, and the new movement of #FreeTheNipple, so stay tuned!

Saffron x