Trying to be a Better Woman

Nearly three years ago I started this blog. My angle was that I'm not perfect, I didn't know how to do girly things. I wanted to talk about my experiences with trying to be more of a girly girl and enlighten younger girls. Back then, I only knew how to do eye liner, shave and use hair removal (most of the time) and sometimes lip gloss. Now, a lot of younger girls are far more experienced than me in these areas. I gave up the whole 'imperfect' angle as I changed my blog name etc...over the past few years my mental health has been up and down a lot. But, through my experiences that I've shared I like to believe that I've helped others. I've turned it into a lifestyle and mental health blog, and I feel like there's so much more substance to what I'm putting out onto the internet.

The point of this post; being a better Woman. As I'm still on the recovery side of my mental health issues, I'm steadily becoming a better human. I'm being thoughtful, productive and trying to look after myself. During my rough patches I stopped taking care of my appearance and I've paid the price for that on many occasions.

This year I wanted to start putting more effort in, starting facial routines and using all of the beauty products I've accumulated through my over spending on the beauty industry. After all, you only get one body so you need to look after it. I've found the most amazing thing is moisturising after showering/bathing. My skin feels so soft and hydrated!

I try to add some make up when I can as I feel more human with a bit of eye make up. Although, I can be so tired in the mornings I don't have the patience to create the perfect cat's eye. I want to have the energy, as it makes me feel put together especially when I'm at work. I don't know if any of you ladies feel the same when you got to work make-up less, that people don't take you seriously? It sounds stupid but I swear it's a thing! I have felt judged for not being "girly" enough with my looks.

I want to be a better Woman for myself, not for anyone else. I want my confidence back. My MH stole that from me and those who had been putting me down alongside that. I've been to the gym more times in this past month than in the six months I've been paying for it. On our few snow days I've put in the effort to look nice for photos (and so my cheeks don't get inflamed with the bitter cold wind). I know it takes extra time in the morning, but I love my signature cat's eye, it makes me feel sassy.

In the past I've had a really unhealthy relationship with exercise, but I've been starting of slowly. I've been switching up what I'm doing to keep it exciting. I want to be more presentable, I've swapped some of my "student" clothing for more "adult" clothing in the hopes that I'll be acknowledged as staff in a building full of students. As well as trying to take care of my looks, as I mentioned earlier I want to do better on the inside too.

My younger pre-university self was so well put together. She could juggle everything, and still think about doing things for others ~ I am aware that being a people pleaser was an unhealthy habit, but I liked helping people. I was very proactive and productive, whereas now I'm often a lazy sloth-like being. This year I've been working at one job in full time hours, and I can see the benefits in just a few months. In the time I do get off work I've been ticking off agenda's on my to do list like no tomorrow. I've been dedicating more of my headspace to work, considering my work is related to my degree my heart is also in this job. 

The mechanical cogs in my brain have begun whirring again, I'm getting that buzz of productivity and energy. I've always had the intention of growing up to be a sort of Super Woman, who can take on anything and everything. Over the years I have learned what my limits are, when to say no and take a break. But, I still want to be a Super Mum when the time comes ~ I want to show off my strength and stability.

I will be a better Woman.

All images taken by Connor Cleary.

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